October 2010
3 posts
Ten Things I Hope To Find in the Newly Discovered...
1. All the cash that was in Al Capone’s secret vault.
2. Geraldo’s dignity + his secret stash of detachable mustaches.
3. All my missing Socks (my lost copies of the 1973 Beverly Cleary novel).
4. A parallel world in which I am hotter, smarter, and more successful.
5. A parallel world in which I am uglier, dumber, and less successful (for self-schadenfreude.)
6. A yet undiscovered...
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22 Short Excerpts From My Internal Monologue...
I am so cultured and intellectual. Who spends their Saturday at a museum watching a documentary film about Bach? Me. I’m like a less pedophile-y Woody Allen.
I should start an all-male J.S. Bach-Tina Turner tribute orchestra and call it “Bach-Men Turner Overdrive.” I don’t see how this could possibly be a bad idea.
You know, Bach is a really funny name. Bach. Baaaaach....