Perpetual Anticipation

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Have a great birthday!

Have a happy, great birthday!

Have a happy, miraculous birthday in which all your dreams come true and you are granted great riches and the world reigns in peace and harmony for all eternity.

Hope your birthday doesn’t suck.

Let’s face it, your birthday is going to suck, but try not to cry too much, okay?

Happy coming-out-of-your-mom’s vagina day!

Happy your-mom-had-to-have-20-vaginal-stitches day!

You’re so old, the hill is over YOU!

You’re old now and therefore the sexy lady on the front of this card would find you sexually repulsive.

I hope this card makes you momentarily forget that today brings you further along in the relentless march towards the grave.

Hope you have a happy birthday- IN MY PANTS!

Remember to tip the birthday prostitute! LOL JK you don’t have to tip prostitutes.

Happy birthday! (This message has been written under the supervision and approval of the HR sexual harassment specialist.)

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